Promises and How They Break
by NerdGirl95
Summary: And through it all, he could hear her whispering to him through the years "Stay strong Sev. Promise me you will always be here. Stay strong." He may have broken his promise to her in life, but in her death he would fulfill that promise through her son, in the hope that someday they would meet again." Snippets of Lily and Snape over the years. To Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade


**A/N. Written for the Tour de Fiction Challenge 2013. Using song: Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade; Prompts: Kite, new beginning; Quote: "Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much" **

**Promises and How They Break**

His "friends" never understood what he saw in her. He wasn't friends with her for her brains, her didn't lover her for her beauty – although she had both in abundance. But over the years, something had changed. She had changed – or maybe he was just trying to hide from the truth; that it was really he who had changed. But tonight, as he stared in wonder as she appeared at his front door, all the reasons came flooding back…

_This is not what I intended  
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart  
You always thought that I was stronger  
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start_

She was always the strong one, really. But she was still vulnerable, more than most people knew. He had seen through it though. The summer between third and fourth year was hard for her, he remembered. Her Dad died of cancer, and the War was starting to seem more like an inevitability than a far off possibility. The War on her kind.

He distinctly remembered the day it had all come crashing down on top of her. One minute she was happily flying a bright red kite the two of them had made together, laughing ecstatically as it dipped and rose, darting in and out amongst the trees. It was that instant that he knew he really, truly loved her. This wasn't a little boy crush anymore – he loved this girl who was fast becoming a woman, with her long red hair and the laugh lines around her soft, red lips.

Then suddenly, she was in a heap of the grass, sobbing uncontrollably, each heave of her body breaking his heart into more and more tiny pieces. Before he had a chance to say anything, she spoke, in hoarse, broken whispers.

"Everything's changing Sev. Daddy's gone, Voldemort wants to kill people like me and Mum and Petunia. Please Sev, promise me you will never change. Promise me you will always be here. I know your Housemates hate me, hate you for being friends with me, but please, stay strong. Please."

Her pleading hurt more than her sobs had. He would do anything for this girl, anything in the world. And in that moment, he never imagined ever going back on his words. "I promise Lily, forever. I promise."

_The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting  
Could it be that we have been this way before?  
I know you don't think that I am trying  
I know you're wearing thin down to the core_

"Why are you here Lily? Are you going to yell at me again? You know I'm sorry, please believe me. It's been more than a year Lily." He knew he sounded weak, pathetic even, but she had always been able to bring that side of him out. The side that he couldn't show to his Housemates. Or his Master.

"I'm not here to yell at you, Snape," she ignored his wince at the use of his last name, ploughing on with what she had to say. "I've come to tell you two things. One, I am not going to be angry at you anymore, and two, I'm dating James Potter. I thought you'd like to know." Was that a hint of vindication he could see in her eyes?

"Why?" It was the only word his mouth could form right now, even though he wanted to say so many other things. "I love you" being at the top of his list.

"There's a muggle saying that goes 'always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.'"

"But Lily, going out with James isn't going to annoy him, he'll love it. You know how he's chased you for almost seven years. Pathetic." He knew his words were harsh, and regrated them the instant he saw the look of anger flash across Lily's face before she could regather herself.

"James isn't my enemy, you are." Her words were like a slap across the face.

"Lily, I'm not your enemy. It was one slip, I never meant to go against you."

"Don't you see Snape? I'm the Muggleborn Gryffindor who is already fighting Voldemort. You are the Half-blood Slytherin who pretends to be Pureblood so you can rise up a few ranks among the Death Eaters. We're enemies. This is your choice, not mine. And although I forgive you, you've officially run out of chances. For eighteen months I've been waiting for Sev to come back, for you to return to the friend I once had. All I see is cold-hearted Snape. I'm sorry."

They hadn't spoken after that night, almost three years ago now. Sure, they'd seen each other in the halls, but she always averted her eyes when she saw him, drawing closer to Potter, as if she needed protection from him and his Slytherin "friends". He hadn't seen her since graduation.

_But hold your breath  
Because tonight will be the night  
That I will fall for you over again  
Don't make me change my mind_

To say he was shocked to see her here would be an understatement. He didn't even know how she knew where he lived, although he was sure she could have found out through either Dumbledore or the Ministry. She looked so beautiful as she walked up the path leading to his door. Snowflakes were slowly gathering in her hair, and she was chewing her lip in the adorable way she had whenever she was really nervous. He guessed he'd be nervous to if he was about to knock on the door of someone he hadn't spoken to for almost three years.

Whatever he was expecting, this wasn't it. He guessed it should have been, but maybe his brain just didn't want to even contemplate the possibility.

"I'm engaged Severus," well, at least she was back to the first name. "James and I are getting married!" She looked so happy and excited, he couldn't bring himself to dampen her spirit, even though the one thing he wanted to do was blurt out his own feelings for her.

"I know we haven't spoken since, well, you know when. But you were my first friend Severus, and I thought you deserved to know. I also know how much you hate James, but if you can put that aside for just one day, I'd be honoured if you would come to the wedding." Well, that was a surprise, for sure. All his nightmares about the day she brought him this news – and there was a frightening amount of them – had her using the information to hurt him, to throw in his face all that he had lost. But here she was, seated in his living room, almost glowing with happiness, inviting him to her wedding.

"Why?"

"Severus, three years ago I told you I forgave you. I know it didn't go well, but I meant it. And despite all the chances I gave you, and the promises you broke, I believe everyone deserves a new beginning. This is ours."

"You mean it?"

"Of course. Although, the whole Death Eater, resistance fighter thing gets in the way, but I don't want to be strangers anymore Severus. Please come to my wedding at least? And write to me?"

"I promise."

He couldn't help it. He knew she was engaged – and blissfully happy about it, but he just couldn't help the feelings of love that washed over him. His fellow Death Eaters thought him cold and distant, but they had no idea the depth of his love for her. No one did. And she didn't know just how much it was hurting him as she sat there, telling him all about her life for the past three years, gushing over wedding plans, as he fell deeper and deeper in love with the beautiful woman she had become.

_Or I won't live to see another day  
I swear it's true  
Because a girl like you's impossible to find  
You're impossible to find_

When he got the news not even two years later, he couldn't believe it. No, he could believe it, he just didn't want to. Every day, he kept thinking that she would walk up his path like she had so many years before, gushing over some new piece of news, even though she had actually only done that on one occasion. Every owl that came brought with it the hope that maybe she had written to him, before the memories crashed over him again, and he remembered that never again would he see her neat writing on a fresh piece of parchment.

The boy was both a blessing and a curse. He looked so much like his father – but the hurt ran deeper than that. He could have born it if he had been an exact replica of his father, but he wasn't. He had her eyes, her cheek, her loyalty, her ferocity of spirit. He only made trouble when he had to for the good of others, no matter what he tried to convince himself. But more than anything, this boy was a constant reminder of just what his actions had done.

The scar on his forehead caused him as much pain as it did its owner, a physical reminder of the night when the best part of him had died. The baggy clothes reminded him of his own childhood, and the girl who had made his living Hell bearable. The wistful look that appeared – probably unknowingly – whenever family, and specifically parents, was mentioned was like a knife to the heart as he remembered that it was all his fault that the boy was an orphan.

As much as he tried to hate the boy, he just couldn't, and that sometimes made him even angrier. He would never admit it to anyone – he had a hard enough time admitting it to himself – but Harry was the only reason he was still alive. For without Lily, his life held no meaning, no purpose. But without Lily, this boy was so alone, so lost, just like he had been for four years before she came back into his life. So he ploughed on, remembering what she had once said to him. "Everyone deserves a second chance Severus." He didn't believe he deserved any more chances, he had used them all, and hurt her every time. But this little boy, with the trusting green eyes he had fallen in love with deserved a second chance, and it was his job to make sure he got it. So he watched him grow and change, fighting to be both the saviour and just a normal teenager. And through it all, he could hear her whispering to him through the years "Stay strong Sev. Promise me you will always be here. Stay strong." He may have broken his promise to her in life, but in her death he would fulfill that promise through her son, in the hope that someday they would meet again.

**A/N. So, what did you think? A little more angsty than I usually do, but it was oddly fun to write! Anyway, please review! NG.**


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